


On The Road

by acrazyworldofdreams



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Arguments, Attraction, Background Relationships, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dorm Rooms, Friends to Lovers, Going Abroad, Hostel Life, Instant Attraction, Kissing, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Mark Lee Are Best Friends, M/M, Motorbikes, New Friends, Panic Attack, Slow Burn, Traveller AU, Waterfall hiking, background markhyuck, backpacking, banana pancakes, markhyuck, new relationships, nights out, waterfalls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-15
Packaged: 2019-11-07 12:21:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17960411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acrazyworldofdreams/pseuds/acrazyworldofdreams
Summary: Jeno gets back on the travel road & meets a motley crew of backpackers!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> HAHA inspiration just struck me!!! Guess which character is living the life I live.....

Jeno arrives at the hostel later than expected and after 12 hours of flying, with one hair raising bus transfer, all he wants to do is check into his room and crash. The Balinese guy on reception isn’t very fast, but Jeno knows that’s something he’s just gotta get used to. Life on the road is a different pace, and it’s easy to lean into it, then to try and fight it. He breathes out, and just waits.

Sure enough some ten minutes later, he’s paid and the guy’s offered to help him with his backpack. They make their way to his home for the next 5 nights. When booking places like this, he always tried to balance a decent price, with somewhere that’s not truly horrific. Though he’s stayed in some real hellholes on previous travelling adventures, he doesn’t want to repeat that time in the Thai hostel where bed bugs and cockroaches were his roommates.

Never again would he be pulled in by the tempting only £3 per night offer. Standards had to be kept, but his still aren’t that high. He definitely puts up with more than most girls on the road he’s met do, but still, bugs are gross. The guy leads him up one flight of stairs. Jeno sees the previously advertised pool out the window. It looks chill, and there are some guys hanging out around drinking already. He feels the temptation to socialise ping in his gut, but he is tired.

On the other side, he’s only got a few nights here before he moves on and maybe he should seize the day and all that. The guy hands him his key, after demonstrating how it all works. It’s simple enough and Jeno’s done it like a thousand times already. It’s never anything spectacularly new. Inside the room, the guy Brian points to a lower bunk and locker on the other side of the room. It’s a pretty simple layout. With a bathroom at the back, bunk beds and blessed aircon, which actually works. Thank the heavens.

Jeno offers his thanks as the guy slips out of the room, probably to finish his shift. It’s pretty late, and he’s probably one of the last ones to check in today. Throwing his 45L backpack on the bed, Jeno takes a few minutes to rest his tired and aching body.  Although travelling doesn’t take much physically, it’s always kinda exhausting emotionally. It’s like you’re on edge from the moment you leave home, to the moment you arrive at your first hostel.

He loves it though, and practically lives for these extended trips he gets to take. Exploring a new country, making new friends and stuffing stomach is what makes him the happiest. His brother Doyoung is the one who gave him the bug for it too, all those years ago when he’d taken Jeno on his first backpacking trip to Europe. They’d visited Romania, Croatia, Hungry, Belgium and Germany.

What a summer that had been and then Doyoung had moved away for his first job overseas, and nothing had quite felt the same again.

The shower clicks off, and Jeno can hear someone rustling around in the bathroom. He’s relieved, because he really needs to take a leak. He also realises he should probably shower and have a change of clothes. He’s been wearing the same trousers and tee for at least 22 hours. Gross. The bathroom door slides open, as he’s shoving his backpack into the locker. It’s one of those lockers that needs a padlock and Jeno’s thankful again for all the lessons Doyoung taught him for being prepared on the road.

 _“Oh hey”_ comes the greeting from the person previously occupying the bathroom. Jeno looks up to say hi in return but is caught off guard, as he find’s himself face to face with one of the most handsome guys he’s seen in a long while. Jeno is looking at a 175cm athletic looking god, with lightly coloured pink hair that’s wet and hanging dramatically over his face. Never mind the fact he’s just in a towel, it all makes Jeno speechless. The boy laughs at his obviousness, and repeats his introduction, which it seems Jeno may have missed amongst the gawking. _“Err the name’s Jaemin. And you are?”_

Finally Jeno manages to shut his locker, his bag threatening to spill out, and pushes out his hand to greet the most ethereal looking person ever, _“I’m Jeno”._ Jaemin takes his hand, gives a curt shake and smiles at Jeno.

Jeno thinks he’s gone blind. Who the fuck has such perfect teeth? Omg, he thinks, I’m going to be staying in this room with like the most perfect person ever. Moment over, Jaemin lets go and heads over to what appears to be his bed. It’s the bunk over from Jeno’s and it appears he’s been lucky too, by also having a lower bunk. Being on the bottom makes it so much easier to crash after a wild night out. Though Jeno’s crawled up three stories before blind drunk. A bit terrifying to think about now but at the time, easy peasy.

Back on the task in hand, Jeno crosses the small room to grab his shower things, which he pulled out pre-locker shoving.

 _“Hey, you done in the bathroom? Just wanna freshen up.”_ Jeno calls out towards Jaemin, who’s currently rifling through his own bag, pulling out what appears to be smart shorts and a polo neck shirt. So Jeno tacks on another question before Jaemin can answer the first, _“Out tonight?”._

Jaemin straightens up and offers another one of his blinding smiles. _“Yeah, to both actually. You’re welcome to the bathroom, though be warned it’s fucking freezing at first. And yeah, I’m off out. Some of the guys who are staying in the room over, and I are having a few drinks by the pool and then heading out. You game?”_ Jeno blinks in surprise, though he’s not sure why. People on the road tend to be super friendly. With a lack of time to waste on formalities you learn fast to dive straight in. Otherwise nights and opportunities end up wasted.

 _“Sure, that’d be cool. When you guys heading out?”_ Jeno asks, trying to calculate how much times he’s got to shower and get ready. _“oh no rush, we won’t head out until they kick us out at 11.30pm. So just join us by the pool when you’re done?”_ Jeno nods and heads into the shower.

One freezing cold shower later, because he failed at life and couldn’t make it hot. Jeno’s ready to head down and get a drink down his throat, otherwise there’s just no way he’s going to be able to stay awake. Just ten minutes earlier he’d lain down on his bed, and found his eyes drooping. Not good. So he grabs his wallet, phone and keys and heads out. There’s only four beds in this dorm, and the two Jeno and Jaemin aren’t occupying are empty, so he hits the AC off and locks the door.

Retracing his footsteps, he heads down but instead of heading back through to reception, he goes the opposite way hoping it will lead to the pool he saw out of the window. And sure enough, he hears the boy’s laughter.

Stepping into the pool area, he notices two things straight away. One the view from the pool is fucking incredible, the hostel is just on the outskirts of the town, and it looks out onto some of the rice fields. It’s amazing, and for a moment Jeno remembers why he loves to travel so much. He feels so grateful for the opportunity to be here right now. The other is that there are six guys sat around a table just next to the pool. There’s a few bottles of beers on the table, and someone’s got their Bose speaker playing some hip-hop or whatever. It’s a pretty chill beat. Jeno likes it.

 _“Jeno, over here.”_ It’s unnecessary but Jaemin calls him over and points to a chair next to him that he’s obviously pulled up. Jeno smiles at the cute boy and slides into the chair, taking a glance around the table. All the guys at the table are unashamedly studying him, and he feels a bit shy, wondering what’s so interesting about his face.

One of the boy speaks up. He’s got tanned skin and a wicked glint to this eye, “ _You just get in?”_ Jeno nods but stays silent. _“Quiet, aren’t you?”_ the intrusive boy continues.

 _“Layoff, Donghyuck,”_ Jaemin barks, coming to his rescue. Jeno throws a grateful look his way. It’s not that he doesn’t do well with people, but it just takes him a little time to warm up them. It’s like this every time.

 _“So what brings you to Bali?”_ another boy speaks up this time, he’s smaller and almost softer, than Jaemin or Donghyuck, but still as good looking as the first two.

 _“Ready to see more of the world again really,”_ Jeno answers honestly. It really had been time to get out again and with another contracting ending, it was the perfect time to go. His mother hadn’t been so sure, but Doyoung had encouraged him to do it. _“You’re not old yet, Jeno. Live as much as you can, while you can.”_

 _“That’s cool.”_ The boy responds. _“And you are?”_ Jeno’s social skills are finally kicking in. _“Renjun. You? Sorry Jaemin did say, but I forgot.”_ The boy laughs at himself, and Jeno finds himself endeared towards him. _“Jeno.”_

Having been accepted into the group, Jeno learns the names of the other four boys. There’s Mark, whose travelling with Donghyuck. The two on a short sabbatical from their respective workplaces, both claiming they need some space to find themselves again. They share their unhappiness with the rat race and disappointment at realising it wasn’t all that it was made out to be. They don’t mention anything about dating, but Jeno can tell at least one of them is harbouring feelings for the other.

Then there’s best friends Jisung and Chenle, straight out of College. Doing the backpacking thing together. It’s pretty awesome, and the two are great, although completely savage. Jeno may have to watch himself around these two.

Renjun confesses he’s actually just on holiday but decided to go alone to meet new people. Something about being sick of all the people he already knew and lastly there’s Jaemin, who’s a bit of an enigma. Jaemin mentions something about being a nomad, and not really having a home base. It’s intriguing and Jeno wants to ask him more, but it’s not really the time.

 _“Hey, do you want a beer?”_ Mark asks, pulling a beer out of nowhere. Jeno leans forward slightly and realises the group have a sizeable stash of alcohol just under the table, and it appears they are confidently working their way through it. Jeno thanks him, grabs the bee and takes a big chug. It feels good going down and his shoulders relax, as he realises, he’s back where he belongs.

On the road. It’s going to be a good trip, he can just tell.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you spot any mistakes - no beta for this :) Enjoy!

Three beers later, and Jeno can feel that he’s getting drunk. It’s a nice feeling, and the boys are fucking hilarious. Jisung and Chenle have this comedy pair act going on, and Jeno just keeps cracking up at their antics. Jaemin is as bemused as he is, but Renjun seems exasperated with the pair, considering he’s been travelling with them for about a week now, Jeno’s not overly surprised.

Jeno’s learnt their stories. Mark comes from Canada but lives in Korea with Donghyuck. Jisung and Chenle are both from China, although Jisung is Korean also. Jaemin’s originally from Los Angeles, but as stated before, doesn’t really call that home anymore. Renjun is Australian with Chinese heritage, and Jeno shares that he’s British. It’s kind of weird that’re all technically Asian but originate from across the world.

They’re playing truth or dare now and these boys ain’t playing it seems. They’ve already had a kiss between Renjun and Mark, and Donghyuck’s had to go to reception and tell the guy he’s pissed his pants. It’s childish stuff, but it’s funny too, so Jeno goes with it.

Then it’s Jisung’s turn to dare Jeno, and boy does he go big. _“Jeno, I dare you to skinny dip in the pool.”_ Jesus. Jeno’s too tired for this shit, but he does have a bit of buzz from the beers he’s consumed. As he contemplates whether he can be assed to jump into the cold water, and deal with being wet, Jaemin whispers into his ear, _“I’ll do it with you, if you want”_ and follows it up with the biggest grin. Cute.

Looking at Jaemin properly, Jeno notices just how good the other looks now he’s done his hair up and decides it really would be a shame to waste it. Jeno channels his inner confidence and confidently states, _“Nah don’t wanna mess up your hair. You’re too pretty for that”._ Jaemin flushes but smiles to his retort. Jeno rises from his chair, yanks his top off, followed by his shorts. He tries to ignore the wolf whistles from behind, as he slips off his boxers and slides into the pool. Only then does he turn around, and catch Jaemin’s gaze, which is hooded eyes and full of want for Jeno. He thinks.

He takes a lap around the pool, and gestures to Renjun to throw him the towel discarded over one of the abandoned sun loungers. Renjun thankfully walks over with it, although he’s a bit wobbly on his feet doing it. Then Jeno pulls himself out, grabs his clothes and hides behind the shower block to quickly dry himself and pulls his clothes back on. He’s just got to face the fact he’s gonna smell like pool water now, but at least his hair is still dry. Within minutes he’s back at the time table receiving looks of approval from those sat around it and is handed a celebratory bottle.

The conversations move on, and Jeno finds himself talking only with Jaemin. It’s a half flirty, half serious one. _“Gotta say Jeno, I’m pretty impressed you went in the pool on your first night. That dare comes up every time and you’re one of the first to do it first time. Plus I gotta say it wasn’t a half bad sight from behind.”_ Jeno flushes from the obvious compliment and the fact Jaemin is now throwing his flirting back to him. Jeno’s confidence has waned somewhat now he’s sat next to what appears to be the boy of his dreams.

 _“err thanks”_ he mumbles out, and then quickly tries to move the conversation in a different direction. _“So after all this travelling, where is your favourite place is the world to be?”_ Jaemin takes a sip from his bottle, and leans back in his chair, as he contemplates Jeno’s question. Jeno enjoys the view.

_“There are still so many countries I have yet to explore but from where I’ve been so far, Thailand is my favourite. Chiang Mai in particular but I also love Italy. The food is pretty amazing in Thailand too, but also the community of nomads is pretty big in Thailand.”_

Jeno nods as if he knows what Jaemin’s talking about, but the more he speaks, the more Jeno finds himself leaning in. It’s not something he’s ever really thought about. Not a lifestyle he’d considered before, but he can do his work from almost anywhere. Nowhere does it say he has to be in one place, it’s just what he’s always known. Ideas swirl. Jaemin talks a bit more, but it descends into them discussing the wildest things they’ve ever done. From Jeno’s riding drunk on the back of a scooter at 3am, to Jaemin’s ghost walk in Peru, which resulted in being lost in the forest and having to hitch hike home.  A long story for another day Jaemin admits. It’s perfect. Jeno smiles to himself as he watches Jaemin open up.

The rest of the boys in, the time they’ve been talking, have become increasingly rowdy and Jeno checks his phone to see that it’s nearing the time they’ll be kicked out. Sure enough not even five minutes later, the staff come to usher them on. With smiles, but Jeno knows also probably exasperation. They gather their stuff, all picking up a final bottle to take with them. The last of their stash and head out onto the street.

Part of Jeno hates being this type of tourist, and usually he tries to limit the bad impression he might give to the locals, but on the other hand he wants to let loose. Even back home, he’s not been out for ages, and at 24, it’s like he’s become old before his time.

Jaemin grabs his hand, and they run down the street towards what Jeno gathers is the central part of the town. There are plenty of other people still out and about, so Jeno follows Jaemin and forgets about the rest of the world for a little while. Arriving at a friendly looking bar with an owner who seems to recognise the group, they’re soon seated at another table by another pool. This time though someone’s ordered a bottle of Jack Daniel’s, and 7 glasses arrive at the table. There’s banter around the group, and Jeno observes that it feels like the six of them have been friends for much longer than the week for Renjun, Jisung and Chenle, and the 4 days with Jaemin, and the 2 with Mark and Donghyuck. Jeno’s the newest member, but it doesn’t really feel like it. Not with Jaemin leaning in, and the in jokes they’ve already created between them all. For some reason, it reminds him of home. Jeno’s never experienced this before in his entire time of travelling. It’s kind of awesome.

 _“Hey, you having fun?”_ Mark’s slid into the chair next to him _. “Yeah. I’m glad I came out.”_ Jeno throws Mark a grin and then looks to Jaemin, watching him battle and win against Donghyuck in an arm wrestle. Jeno feels himself go a little red at noticing how toned and muscled Jaemin’s arms are.

 _“Keen on Jaemin then?”_ Jeno blushes all over in response to the question. Damn he wishes his face didn’t give him away so easily _. “Yeah, I guess so,”_ he admits to Mark and to himself. _“That’s cool. In the few days I’ve known Jaemin, I’ve not seen him open up so fast to someone new. He said something the other night about it being hard to keep connecting to people, who just leave.”_

Jeno feels a clench in his gut. It’s true and Jeno’s not going to be any different. He’s only due to stay here for a few days, and then he’s off.  _“Oh”_ Jeno softly exhales, disheartened by this revelation. Like the idea of leaving Jaemin already makes him weirdly.

 _“Hey, sorry didn’t meant to make you feel shit. Just go with it alright? He’s pretty good at taking care of himself, yeah?”_ It makes Jeno feel marginally better, so he pushes aside the thoughts of leaving.

 _“JENOOOOO”_ Chenle’s loud scream comes across the table. _“WHO DO YOU THINK IS HOTTER? RENJUN OR JAEMIN?”_ The table goes silent, and Jeno raises his left eye brow in pure confusion to the out of the blue question.

 _“Ehh?”_ he remarks out loud.

 _“Renjun was just saying how cute he thought you were, and Jaemin agreed. So I wanted to know who had more of a chance to kiss you out of the two?”_ Chenle is clearly drunk out of his mind, and Jeno watches as Renjun almost launches himself onto the boy to get him to shut up. It’s pretty funny, and to be fair all the boys are drunk enough to laugh it off. But when he looks at Jaemin, he finds the boy staring at him, seemingly waiting for the answer Jeno didn’t think he would have to supply.

Feeling brave, Jeno mouths his answer to the devastatingly handsome boy looking at him with the softest eyes, _“You”._ Jaemin grins again but doesn’t to Jeno’s surprise announce his discover. Instead Jaemin retains his grin, which turns into a smile, and then he rescues Chenle from Renjun’s strangling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have you ever been travelling? Does this ring true for you?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg I'm so in love with Nomin here - are you? UWU

They hit one more bar, and enjoy a few rounds of tequila shots. Then they move onto a smallish club type bar, which is basically a bar with a dance floor. Our of the speakers comes hits from the 2000’s, Jeno only recognises some of them because of his brother. Mark and Donghyuck seem to know them all though, as they scream out the lyrics and whip up the dance floor. The two in sync in this almost hypnotising way. They’re drunk out of their faces, and Jeno watches them get closer and closer to each other.

Surprisingly Jeno isn’t as drunk as the others, probably because he started later and because he ate a shit ton of the plane. Jaemin seems tipsy but is still able to hold a banter-full conversation. The two of them are together again, this time sat at a table just off from the dance floor, where they can see Jisung, Chenle and Renjun having the most ridiculous dance battle. All three are too drunk to form proper movements, but it actually makes it more hilarious to watch.

 _“Give it ten minutes, and I bet you Donghyuck and Mark sneak away together?”_ Jaemin says with a teasing tone meant for the two who are totally lost in each other _._

 _“Oh really?”_ Jeno enquires, intrigued by the reflection.

_“To be fair to you, they do this every night. So I’m guessing they’re aiming for a hat trick. They’re just not so good at being honest about their feelings for each other sober, I think.”_

Jaemin giggles in the cutest way, and Jeno joins in. People are weird, especially when emotions are concerned. Usually Jeno’s one of them, unable to admit when he’s attracted to someone but with Jaemin it feels different.

Emboldened by the tone in Jaemin’s voice, Jeno turns in his chair to face him. He studies how Jaemin’s once perfectly coiffed hair is now sweaty and thus messy. He still looks gorgeous. His green eyes are bright, and full of joy. Jeno could stare all day. Taking a deep breathe in, not quite believing what he’s about to do, Jeno takes Jaemin’s hands in his. Something they’ve been doing on and off all night.

_“Hey, you know I like you right. I know I said I was attracted to you earlier, but I err…wanted you to know that I thought you’re pretty amazing too. And I know we don’t have long together, so I just wanted to say something. God, I’ve just made this super awkward right.”_

He finishes his ramble, and tilts his head to look at the ceiling, embarrassed by his weird confession/ramble. It doesn’t take long though before he feels soft fingers pull his chin down and his body towards the boy in front of him. Jaemin’s eyes are soft and hopeful.

 _“Hey, don’t be embarrassed. I think you’re pretty awesome too, and as Chenle so kindly pointed out I definitely think you’re hot. I’m actually super chuffed you said something, because I normally don’t. But there’s just something about you Jeno Lee.”_ Jeno goes red and his eyes scrunch up until he’s doing his usual eye smile. People always point it out as cute, which Jaemin does too. Then before he knows what’s happening, Jaemin has pulled his chin all the way and their lips are touching softly.

It’s short and sweet, and it leaves Jeno wanting more.

But he doesn’t force it. They’ve got time. Right now, he just wants to have fun with his new friends, with Jaemin by his side. He squeezes Jaemin’s hand to make sure he knows he’s not rejecting Jaemin.

 _“Wanna dance_?” Jeno asks, after leaning back slightly with a daring look. Jaemin smirks in return and they hit the dancefloor. He discovers Jaemin’s a great dancer, and practically dances circles around him, but he does try to show off some of the moves he learnt as a kid in a dance troop he was a part of until he exams hit at 16. They don’t drink anymore, and the rest of the night is spent making up silly dances with the other five. The bar closes around 3am, and the troop stuff their face with pizza from a local haunt and head back to the hostel.

There’s this tension in the air between Jeno and Jaemin. Though Jeno’s not sure if any of the others notice. Mark and Donghyuck are whispering away, with Mark’s hand on Donghyuck’s waist. Jeno notes, trying to remember whether they slipped away or not, but he was too wrapped up in what was going on between Jaemin and himself to really care.

Jeno, Jaemin, Renjun, Jisung and Chenle trail behind the pair, not wanting to disturb them. Renjun and Chenle are arguing about whether Thor or the Hulk would win in a battle, and Jisung seems lost in his own world, but he looks happy enough.

Jaemin’s next to Jeno, and that’s where the tension is sitting. They’re not holding hands, but their fingers keep brushing past one another.

All Jeno can think about it kissing Jaemin again. He doesn’t want much more than that, but the idea of cuddling and kissing is all he can think about. The group arrive back at the hostel in what appears to be no time, but Jeno has no idea of the concept of time. The alcohol and tiredness have officially melded into exhaustion. They bid goodbye and arrange to have breakfast together at 10.15am, right before the hostel stops serving it. A common trick for backpackers.

When the Mark and Hyuck disappear in a different direction, the trio head the same way as Jeno and Jaemin. Renjun informs him that the three of them are staying in the dorm next to Jaemin’s, and now Jeno of course. Donghyuck and Mark have their own room which they share. At this news and behind the others back’s, Jeno raises his eyebrows in a suggestive manner towards Jaemin, who laughs out loud and then clamps his hand over his mouth. It is 4am, perhaps they should be a bit quieter.

Jaemin slides into their room first, and Jeno follows. It’s empty, which surprises Jeno. The beds are messy, but there’s no luggage surrounding them anymore. He looks questionably at Jaemin.

_“Oh the other boys had a super early flight.”_

Jeno nods in understanding, he’s had plenty of those. The two get ready for bed in silence. It’s not an awkward one though, instead all Jeno can think about is the precious sleep he’s about to enjoy. He brushes his teeth, changes into the shorts he wears to bed. When he comes back into the room, he finds Jaemin already laying down scrolling through his phone. Jeno remembers seeing it out a few times during the night and wonders how the photos will come out. He hopes at least one of the selcas he was forced to participate in is decent quality.

Jeno passes by Jaemin and dumps his stuff by his bed, he’ll sort it out in the morning. Taking a swig of his water, he goes to pull up his sheets, but stops when he hears Jaemin’s soft voice _. “Hey, do you….”_ The voice hesitates and Jeno turns towards Jaemin’s bed, to see that Jaemin’s scooted over leaving an obvious space for Jeno. For a second Jeno doesn’t know what to think. Isn’t this all a bit fast. But in the back of his mind as he often does, he hears Doyoung’s voice saying, **‘Be brave Jeno.’**

Putting his sheets back, and yanking his curtain shut. Jeno takes the few steps towards Jaemin’s bed and sees the beautiful smile he’s fallen so fast for. _“You sure?”_ he softly enquires. Jaemin nods and lightly pats the space he’s left for Jeno. It’s so cute. Jeno slides into the obviously too small space for two, but the closeness to Jaemin is reassuring. They face each other, noses touching.

Feeling like some kind of character in a rom com, Jeno giggles, which in turn makes Jaemin giggle. It dies off soon though, when Jaemin catches Jeno’s eye.

 _“You are so beautiful”_ Jaemin marvels to Jeno. Jeno doesn’t know why he’s whispering when it’s only them in the room, but maybe Jaemin’s just trying to protect this moment between them. It is pretty otherworldly. _“You’re not bad yourself.”_ Jeno throws back.

 _“Can I kiss you?”_ Jaemin proposes.

_“Of course.”_

Their second kiss is longer and there is more passion behind it. Jaemin curls his hand behind Jeno’s neck and tilts his head a bit, so they connect more easily. It’s incredible and Jeno doesn’t think he’s ever been kissed this way before. After a few minutes though, Jeno can feel his eyes threatening to close, so he pulls away and kisses Jaemin on the nose. More smiles. So many smiles. He hopes they last.

Jeno drifts off to sleep with Jaemin’s arms encircled round his waist.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic is super slow burn - is that ok? Are you enjoying it?

Jeno wakes up to Jaemin gently trying to get over him without disturbing him. However it’s clear that’s because awake, eyes opened wide and frozen due to the sight of Jaemin hovering over him. Jaemin’s eyes are full of sleep, and his hair is a mess. It’s so freaking adorable, Jeno wants to grab his cheeks and squish them together but he stops himself in time. One because he’s still tired as hell, and probably severely jet lagged, and two he doesn’t want to scare Jaemin off with his overly cutesy tired side.

_“Morning Gorgeous”_ Jaemin pipes up as he pulls himself off Jeno, and pads across the room to the bathroom. Probably to take a leak because that’s what Jeno needs to do. God how much did they drink last night?

He’s young enough though that he doesn’t have a shitty hangover, but the jet lag plus alcohol and limited sleep has definitely pilled up to make him less than peachy. Jaemin returns, hand running through his hair in that damn attractive manner of his.

_“Your turn”_ he chirps to Jeno, tipping head in the direction of the bathroom he just exited. Even though he rather do anything but, Jeno manages drags himself out of bed, and relieve himself before something embarrassing happens. He splashes a shit ton of water on his face, hoping it’ll wake him or something. It kinda works and when he returns to the room, he finds Jaemin pulling out his chosen outfit of the day.

Grabbing his phone, Jeno notices the time is 10.10am. Jaemin must have set an alarm that he didn’t hear. Or he’s some kind of alien who wakes up too early. Well at least he’s a cute alien. Jeno grins to himself about his own joke, which receives a bemused look from Jaemin.

_“What’s so funny sleep head?”_

_“Just imagining you’re some kind of cute alien who can wake up crazy o’clock”._

Jeno’s mouth opens in shock. He totally didn’t mean to say that out loud but his brain to mouth filter is severely malfunctioning right now. Jaemin laughs long and loudly. _“Oh I don’t think I’m the cute one here”_ he coos, as he steps towards Jeno and plants a soft kiss of Jeno’s lips.

Oh, so this is a real thing, and the small action makes Jeno’s heart blooms in happiness. Happy that sober Jaemin still likes him. _“Is this OK?”_ Jaemin questions, a little unsure of himself. _“Yeah, Yeah. Happy is all.”_ Jaemin smiles at Jeno’s response.

_“Alight champ pull on some clothes. We got some free breakfast to demolish”._

Before he knows it, Jeno’s sat around another table but this time in the outdated looking restaurant area. The two of them have put in their banana pancake orders and are just waiting in anticipation.

Jeno’s so fucking hungry.

At the wooden table sits Donghyuck, Renjun, and Mark. Though Mark and Donghyuck aren’t sitting together, which seems a bit weird but Jeno doesn’t want to question it out loud. It’s not really his business. Jisung and Chenle are nowhere in sight. Jeno asks after them.

_“Oh they’ve already eaten and popped out to get snacks for today’s trip. We’re heading out to some local waterfalls on our bikes. Wanna come?”_ Donghyuck answers and asks.

_“Yeah, sounds cool. Though I haven’t hired  a bike, yet,”_ Jeno explains, not even sure if he was going to hire one in the first place, but he doesn’t want to be left out of the fun.

_“That’s OK Jeno, you can go on the back of mine_.” Jaemin pipes up, pulling his face out of the pancake he’s been inhaling for the past 30 seconds since it arrive. Jeno hasn’t started his yet, but it smells fucking amazing.

“Wicked” he throws back. Jaemin seems pretty well travelled and Jeno hopes a good driver. Jeno’s not a nervous traveller in general, but he’s met a lot of people who’ve been in bike accidents. The idea of fun wins out most times though. He starts eating, and eventually the two missing boys return. Donghyuck is still purposefully not looking at Mark. Mark looks sad.

The waterfalls are fucking incredible. They managed to hire some local guides to take them down a few of the less well-known ones, and it’s a fucking accident waiting to happen, but the views are just inconceivable. They get completely covered in mud, and they laugh all the way down, and up. The snacks are demolished.

At some point Renjun speaks to Mark alone, followed by Mark pulling Donghyuck aside. Then it’s like nothing ever happened, and the banter from last night between them strikes up again. Jeno wonders what Renjun said that was so powerful. Then Jaemin grabs him at the top of the waterfall and they take a selfie together. Their first sober picture. Jeno thinks they kinda look charming together.

_“Hey Jeno, what’s ya Instagram? So I can tag you,”_ asks Jaemin casually but it’s no big deal really, most travellers use Instagram to keep up with each other’s travels. Though with Jaemin asking it does feel like one more step towards something. The whole day they’ve been skirting around this thing between them, and Jeno kind of just wants to spend some alone time with him, but it’s hard when you have 5 other boys you want to get to know as well. Jeno feels torn, and a little unhappy about it. He tells the boy it’s **@JenoNoJam** and soon enough, he gets a notification from an unknown account **@JaetheWanderer**. It suits him, Jeno thinks.

Scrolling through the account, Jeno finally starts to understand just how well travelled Jaemin is. There are pictures from all over SEA, as well as South America, most of Europe and even some Arabic countries. Jeno feels like he’s been barely been anywhere in comparison. Jaemin’s life seems exciting and it makes Jeno pretty jealous.

_“Stalking my feed I see”_ Jaemin teases from behind Jeno, where he’s sitting on the ground. They’ve make it back to their bikes and are just waiting for Mark and Jisung to get back _. “Your pictures are pretty fucking cool, man,”_ Jeno shares honestly, “Your life seems pretty awesome.”

Jaemin sits down next to him and lets out a small sigh. Jeno looks up at him, wondering why his comment would create such a reaction in Jaemin.

_“In some parts, yeah my life is pretty fucking cool. I’ve done things and been to places people wouldn’t even be able to dream of, but it comes with it’s own set of unique problems. It doesn’t matter where you travel in this world, you arrive in a new place and there you are. Just because you’re in a new place, doesn’t mean your problems don’t come with you. And you gotta work, which means sometimes you miss out of things. Like today, when we get back I gotta do some work. Don’t get me wrong I love my life, but it’s not all rainbows and unicorns like some people seem to think.”_

The speech is passionate, but Jeno kinda gets it. It doesn’t matter how far he travels, he’s always felt slightly inferior to his older brother. The one who did everything first, and so spectacularly well. Their parents don’t even mean to compare the two of them, but they do, and that pressure has been with Jeno his whole life. Even now travelling he still feels the thoughts of not being good enough threatening to tear him down.

_“You ever consider becoming nomadic, Jeno?”_ Jaemin’s question isn’t completely out of the blue though. Jeno’s already mentioned yesterday how his work could be done online, and his love of travelling. But still it’s a lot to give up. Jeno’s got two cats at home, who he loves to pieces and he’s pretty fond of his little flat, and his few friends.

But there’s still a little something inside which makes him think twice about Jaemin’s question, and his mind had already begun to consider that all those things would be okay without him for a while.

_“Yes, Yes I have.”_ Jeno answers finally, but he doesn’t get a chance to elaborate before the two missing boys appear out of the trees and the group is gathering up to head back to the hostel. If Jeno grips a little tighter to Jaemin’s waist on the way back, Jaemin doesn’t mention it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is there anything you want to see them do together? UWU


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know only little bits about these jobs, so I hope they come across as believable!!! Enjoy <3

The late afternoon finds Jaemin and Jeno once again curled up on Jaemin’s bed, but this time Jaemin has his laptop out, and Jeno is snuggled into his side, attempting to catch up on the sleep his body is desperately craving. It’s soft, and Jeno’s heart feels fluttery from the close proximity to this boy he barely knows, but already kind of adores. Jaemin is an app designer Jeno’s discovered and makes his living from designing mobile and web apps for companies. It’s pretty awesome and a world away from Jeno’s junior architect career.

Soon enough, the click, click of Jaemin’s mouse sends Jeno off to nap land, and he only resurfaces a few hours later in the early evening, when Jeno can just see the darkness peeking through the double doors to their dorm over Jaemin’s body.

_“Hey there gorgeous? Feel better?”_ Jaemin’s dulcet tones honey coat Jeno’s newly awoken ears, and he instinctively snuggles in again to the warm body beside him.

“ _Cute_ ” is Jaemin’s response.

_“..naw…I iz not cutezzz”._

Jeno struggles to protest, whilst succumbing to a yawn which causes him to stretch his limbs out in the confined space and disturbs Jaemin’s space. Resuming his position, Jeno looks up to Jaemin’s screen and is fuelled by curiosity to ask what he’s working on.

_“It’s an app for a water company, which is being created to help its customers learn how to recycle its bottles. Pretty cool actually – they wanted it to be intuitive to know the user was, so it can point them to the nearest recycling place or if recycling doesn’t exist i.e. in less developed countries, it will offer alternate solutions for reducing their plastic consumption. Also it has a space for people to submit ideas to reduce single use plastic waste.”_

Jeno watches Jaemin eyes light up as he speaks, it’s obvious how passionate Jaemin is about this stuff. _“Do you often work on projects with an eco-element?”_ Jeno enquires, curious to understand more about Jaemin’s motivations.

_“I wish. This is a bit of a dream project that came about from my old TA at college, Taeyong. He consults for some big companies and often sends projects my way. He knew I’d love this one, so he gave it to me.”_ Jaemin’s eyes are full of happiness, and Jeno wants to be the reason Jaemin looks like that too.

_“How else do you get projects whilst on the road?”_ Jeno continues.

_“Well my old professor runs his own company for this stuff, and I was kind of excellent at College before I dropped out, so he hires me to create the more complex stuff. He knows I kind of thrive on it, plus my reputation has become pretty big in the developer world thanks to Taeyong and my old professor, so I get a lot of project offers. I errr”_ Jaemin scratches the back of his neck in the most endearing way, which makes Jeno reach out and stroke his cheek. The moment holds, and Jeno flushes with embarrassment at his action. So he coughs, and tries to move on the story with, _“oh…you..errr?”_

Shaking out of his slight stupor, Jaemin continues as if Jeno didn’t awkwardly stroke his face. _“I have to turn people down actually, because I wouldn’t get to fun things like today, and I don’t want to work all the time. You know? That’s not why I live this way.”_ Jeno nods, only in awe of Jaemin’s confession. Wow, he’s in the presence of someone whose kind of got his shit, or something, together.

It’s not that Jeno doesn’t. His job as a junior architect makes him happy. It’s what he studied at university, and he was lucky enough to be hired straight after he graduated into a very junior role at a new and upcoming company. One that was fairly progressive too, hence why Jeno was so used to working from home so often. They believed in capturing creativity where it lived. So Jeno was allowed to work from anywhere, as long as he delivered his projects on time. The company had an office in London, to which Jeno travelled once a fortnight to and he had a senior architect mentor who oversaw his development, Jaehyun.

Though at the moment, Jeno was taking an extended sabbatical from work. He had three months this time and was eternally grateful that work allowed for this kind of self-development. Jeno had pitched it as a chance to view various architecture styles to bring back into the company and it was partly the truth, but another part of Jeno just needed to feel free again.

Feelings of being trapped had risen lately, what with Doyoung having recently been promoted to manager of his department, which had sent Jeno’s parents into a tailspin. The past month had just been about how wonderful Doyoung was. Never mind any of Jeno’s accomplishments, such as winning junior architect of the year at work. He would never be as good as Doyoung, simply because Doyoung had done it all first and it wasn’t new.

It would be unfair to Doyoung to say he hadn’t made Jeno feel special though. As much as his parents managed to brush aside his dreams, Doyoung always brought them back into the light. Like when Jeno’s design had been accepted into the prestigious design awards the year before, Doyoung had been the first (and only one from his family) to call him and tell him how proud he was of Jeno.

Without his brother, Jeno doesn’t know how he would have found the courage to keep fighting for his dreams or if he’d be here today.

_“Was it hard to start?_ Jeno asks. Jaemin is still working, but his actions have slowed down somewhat. Jeno doesn’t want to distract him, but he also wants to selfishly get as much of Jaemin’s attention he can whilst they’re alone.

_“Yes and no. When I dropped out of college and realised, I wanted to travel. I just packed up my stuff, left it at my friends house and went to travel the world. I didn’t even think about working for over 9 months, living off my inheritance from my grandma. After a while though, I came to realise it wasn’t a sustainable way to live.”_

Jaemin’s all but stopped working now, instead he’s curled one arm around Jeno’s body pulling him in closer and is looking out into the empty room. His mind obviously elsewhere.

_“Besides steaming my way through my savings, I also started to feel like I was without purpose. After 100 amazing experiences, it started to become samey. Like you’re in a different country, but you’re having the same adventures, the same boozy drunken nights, and meeting the same people. It’s not true of course, but once you start to become jaded, it sours everything. I realised I needed to work to find some purpose in my life, but I didn’t want to settle anywhere. It was Taeyong who suggested working on the road._

_It just felt so right, so I did a trip back to LA. Sold the stuff I’d put away and finally let go of the lease on my apartment. It was hard but I knew it was the right thing to do. There wasn’t anything left for me in LA._

_Then Taeyong found me a project to start with, and off I went to South America. It wasn’t so far time zone wise, that I couldn’t get on calls or not be easily contacted, but it was far enough away I felt free. I spent 6 months in Peru and Argentina, then once I’d got my nomad feet, I decided to travel further, and headed back to Europe. Staying longer in places than I had before._

_By then the projects were coming in regularly too, because my professor had put me on his companies database for programmers, which basically meant I getting more than enough to sustain permeant travel. I’ve been travelling ever since. This is my fourth year on the road, and I’m definitely not ready to stop.”_

Jaemin finishes his story and places a kiss on Jeno’s crown. Jeno doesn’t know what it means, but he feels more connected to Jaemin now than before. It’s a story of someone finding themselves and living on their own terms. Jeno feels inspired.

_“I have to ask”_ Jeno starts slowly, _“If you’re earning the big bucks….”_ Jaemin looks as if he’s going to protest to Jeno’s words, but Jeno cuts him off. _“Which you clearly are, because facts. Why the fuck are you staying in a low budget hostel?”_ Jeno laughs, and the mood is lifted. Jaemin response is the cheesy line Jeno’s ever heard, _“Because I get to meet incredible people like you Jeno”._

Then he leans down to steal the breath from Jeno’s response, and they spend the next ten minutes kissing passionately. Work long forgotten. When they’re rudely interrupted, it’s because of Renjun knocking at their door and barging in to inform them that Mark and Donghyuck have had a massive fight and Jeno and Jaemin are needed to help diffuse the situation, because currently Donghyuck is threatening to leave and nobody wants that.

Jesus, another night in paradise, Jeno thinks and pulls himself away from Jaemin’s warm embrace. But he doesn’t miss the pointed smirk Renjun throws Jaemin’s way, and the blush filled grin Jaemin throws back.

Cute.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned there is severe anxiety, and a panic attack. Please skip if it may trigger you. The boy in question is supported & is okay.

All seven of them are squeezed into Mark and Donghyuck’s private room. Though they’ve split into two groups. Jeno with Mark and Jisung in the bathroom, whilst Jaemin is with Renjun, Chenle and Donghyuck in the main bedroom. Jeno’s still got no idea what’s going on, he’s too new to the group to understand the dynamics between Mark and Donghyuck properly, even with the few things he’s observed so far.

He doesn’t feel like he can be of much help, but apparently Mark insisted he be here, so he opts to try and be a comforting presence to Mark. Jeno’s always been a good listener.

 _“I just don’t understand why he has to be so stubborn about everything Jisung”_ Mark’s downloaded his worries to the younger boy, and Jisung from what Jeno can tell, is pretty good at giving advice. _“Maybe he’s just frustrated with the things that are going unsaid between the two of you?”_ Whoa way to pack a punch Jisung.

 _“What are you talking about?”_ Mark looks hopelessly lost and Jeno’s soul aches for him. It seems their eldest is pretty oblivious. _“Mark-Hyung, you’re in love with Donghyuck and he’s in love with you.”_

Mark’s mouth drops open in shock and he stutters a response _“…I..what...no...no…he’s my best friend….we can’t be….can’t in love….”._ The words drop off as Mark’s face morphs from shock to worry to happiness to resolution. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, which Jeno isn’t able to keep up with but it appears Jisung can.

 _“There we go Hyung, you got it now. So if I were you, I’d go out there and just apologise whether you were in the wrong or not.”_ Jeno smiles encouragingly to go along with Jisung’s words, hoping to support the boy in being honest about his feelings to the sad boy in the other room. When he’d walked in, Donghyuck had immediately pulled Jaemin into a hug and Jaemin had responded by rubbing comforting circles into his back. The tears on Donghyuck’s face had informed Jeno that he didn’t really want to leave, he was just upset.

 _“But…but how do you know he’s in love with?”_ Marks asks dumbly. Jeno thinks it’s time he spoke up, hoping an outsider’s insight will help jolt Mark out of his stupidity.

Jeno looks directly into Mark’s glistening eyes, _“Because Mark, Donghyuck looks at you like you’re the sun, even though we know he is. He laughs at your unfunny jokes, always thinks about your needs before his own, and quite frankly I’ve seen the way you two interact with each other, always with love. It’s kind of impossible to ignore. So I’d suggest, like Jisung said, you get your butt out there immediately and get your man back.”_ Jeno winks at him, and Mark’s face goes bright red. Similar to Jeno’s own reaction to any kind of emotional speech. Jeno can tell he and Mark will be friends for a long time.

 _“Okay, Okay.”_ Mark gets up from his seat on the closed toilet lid and clenches his fists, as if steeling himself for a frightening experience. Well Donghyuck is a bit scary. Mark steps to the door, and Jisung and Jeno follow hoping to provide some kind of support, but before opening the door, Mark turns to both of them and whispers, _“I’m scared.”_

Jisung’s turn, _“That’s because he matters. Go for it Hyung. You deserve to be happy to, you know.”_ Mark nod and pushes open the door finaly. On the other side, the three-bathroom boys face the four-bedroom boys. Donghyuck’s tears have dried now, and to Jeno he looks pretty sorry himself.

At the same time, both fighting boys speak up: _“Hyuck, I’m so sorry”_ is paired with _“Mark, I’m in love with you.”_ Whoa Donghyuck, Jeno thinks, go big or go home.

Then there’s this silent moment which follows, where no-one speaks a word, and Donghyuck looks like he’s going to cry again, but at the last moment shell-shocked Mark kicks back into action, _“I love you too Donghyuck, I always have.”_ The two boys stare at each in wonder leaving the rest of them starting to feel like their intruding on a moment.

Renjun is the one who speaks up, _“Okay, now you two are happily in love. We’re all going to head to the restaurant next door. Join us when you’re all done here.”_ He then gestures to the group to exit the room. Jeno crosses the room in a few strides and is joined by Jaemin who grabs his hand tightly.

_“Good work cutie.”_

Jeno tries to protest, but Jaemin isn’t having any of it. _“I just know you helped more than you’ll admit, so I’m gonna be proud of you no matter what you say.”_ Jeno beams, just happy he could be of help.

Dinner is again a loud affair. The food on offer is traditional Balinese food, which is not only tasty as fuck but super affordable. Jeno’s not bad off, but he doesn’t like spending wildly either. He opts to try the Gado Gado, and then proceeds to try a bit of everyone else’s. The corn fritter’s Chenle’s ordered are a fave for everyone, and they end up ordering another portion to share.

Mark and Donghyuck only make it as their eating brownie’s and ice cream, not very traditional but who the hell doesn’t like brownies and ice cream?

The pair looks like they’ve cried, but also a little disheveled. Jeno bets ten quid they’ve been making out. Of course, Chenle and Jisung make fun of them. It’s a stark difference from how they were treating them both just two hours ago. Jeno guesses it just shows how you can be fun and snarky with your friends, as long as you know how to be there for them when they really need you. Mark feeds Donghyuck some brownie and Donghyuck blushes. It’s pretty cute.

Jaemin and Jeno aren’t sat together. He only pouted a little when he realised Jaemin was sat between Renjun and Jisung. Leaving him sat on Renjun’s other side and later with Mark on his other. Jisung and Chenle, of course sat together. The two being a unit that never seems to separate unless extreme conditions.

Jeno’s phone buzzes, and he pulls it out to check. Seeing an Instagram message from **@JaetheWanderer** reading: **_“Don’t pout. It’s too distracting.”_ **

He looks up at Jaemin to find him beaming at Jeno, in that captivating way of his. The two stare at each other for a minute or two just absorbing each other’s presence. Jeno wonders how he got so lucky to meet all these boys, and especially Jaemin. Like the universe guided him to this place at this time, so he could meet them all.

In just 2 days, he already feels more himself than he has in a long time. It’s unbelievable. Jeno doesn’t want to leave them, but he can already feel the pressure of time sneaking up on him. Jeno has just two days left in this place and then what? Will he ever see Jaemin again? Will Jeno have to say goodbye to this feeling?

Jeno’s heartstrings tug painfully at the idea. His phone buzzes again: **_“Don’t be sad Jenojam. I don’t like it when you frown. :p”_**

It’s meant to be cute, but it only upsets Jeno further. He needs some space, like right now. The table is feeling suffocating. He gets up quickly and tells the table he just needs to pop back to the hostel quickly. Jeno exits without looking at Jaemin, knowing he would only encounter concerned eyes. He practically runs back to the room and prays the boy who arrived as they were heading out earlier has left the room too.

Thankfully he has, and Jeno half launches himself into his bed.

Face in the pillow, as he feels his body seize up in tension, his head pounds. Jeno can feel the anxiety wrap itself around his heart and mind, and he tries to focus on his breathing exercises. He’s suffered from Anxiety for years, but managed to hide it from everyone who cares about him. Jeno never wanted his parents to know because in some ways they are the cause of it somewhat, and also he couldn’t bear the idea of Doyoung worrying about him.

His breathes come thick and fast, and Jeno tries to calm down, but he can’t. What makes it worse is that he doesn’t know why it’s come on so fast and so strong. He’s only know Jaemin for two days, it’s fucking ridiculous. But maybe it’s the rejection of their connection in his mind, which is making it worse.

The door slides open, and Jeno tries to turn his body away and hide what’s happening but at Jaemin’s first words, “ _Jeno_ ” he knows he’s got no chance. Jeno lifts himself up, breathing still difficult, and he reaches out for Jaemin, who comes willingly.

 _“Hey you, you’re okay. I’m here now_.”

Jaemin’s whispering into Jeno’s ear, as Jeno is now bent over his knees and looking at his feet, which are planted firmly on the ground. Jaemin’s hugging him from the side.

Jeno whimpers in response unable to reply. He’s in the middle of the storm now. Jaemin’s telling him to breathe now, _“In Jeno, and then out.”_ He’s counting too, and Jeno tries to focus on Jaemin’s voice, using it to guide him back to safety. It takes ten minutes, an eternity to Jeno but he knows he always calms down in the end. It’s just the experience of being in an anxiety attack, which is the worst thing.

Finally, he lifts his head and looks up at Jaemin, who only had concern and care in his eyes. Jeno’s ashamed of his attack. No-one’s ever witnessed one before. He doesn’t know what to do.

 _“It’s okay Jeno. You don’t have to explain yourself to me. We’re okay.”_ Jaemin says the most perfect thing and Jeno crumbles into his chest. Different than before though. This time he’s having to lean on Jaemin for support because he’s not sure he can keep himself up. Jeno feels Jaemin rustle and pull his phone out of his pocket, answering the phone which must’ve been ringing.

Jeno hears Jaemin’s gentle voice, _“Oh hey Donghyuck, yeah Jeno’s fine. A little under the weather, so we’re gonna stay in tonight.”_ A voice replies, but Jeno can’t make out the words, _“Oh don’t worry about it. You guys head out, I’ll take care of him.”_ Jeno wants to object but he can’t bring himself to. He wants Jaemin here with him, and he’s in no condition to go out now. Jaemin says goodbye and hangs up, putting his phone to the side.

 _“Okay Jeno”,_ Jaemin says gently to the clearly still shaken Jeno, “ _I’m going to put you into bed, and then get you some water. Then we can just snuggle and talk if you want, or you can sleep. No pressure. Does that sound good?”_

Jeno dips his head in acknowledgement, and finds himself tucked under his covers with Jaemin’s handing him a water bottle, from which he takes four sips. Anxiety attacks always make him so thirsty, and tired, really tired. Jaemin climbs in, and Jeno minds ponders that  this is the first time they’ve been in Jeno’s bed. It doesn’t feel very different, especially because this is the first time Jeno’s been in here too.

The memories of what happened wash over Jeno, and he feels so stupid. He tries to turn away from Jaemin, but the boy doesn’t let him, instead pulling him closer. Jeno’s too weak to resist.

_“I know I keep saying this Jeno, but I’m not sure you’re hearing me. Whatever you just experienced is okay. Emotions are complex things and I am the last person to judge anybody else’s. I’m not going anywhere okay.”_

Feeling brave from hearing Jaemin’s words Jeno speaks up, _“Thank you. I think I just got a bit overwhelmed with everything that’s going on….especially between us and sometimes my body or brain or whatever, doesn’t take it very well.”_

_“Thanks for telling me, and I’m not surprised. I’m a bit taken back also with it all, so if you need to step back a bit or do anything differently, just tell me ok?”_

Jeno doesn’t have the energy to tell Jaemin that the last thing he wants is Jaemin to be further away from him. Instead he places a soft kiss on Jaemin’s cheek and snuggles into his fave place, Jaemin’s chest. This is becoming a habit. A nice one.

 _“Goodnight Jeno_ ” Jaemin whispers, and Jeno’s oblivious to the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG MARKHYUCK IS SO CUTE RIGHT? And he Nomin feels are super strong. Do you feel like other character's personalities are coming out enough?


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A date because why the hell not! Thank you for all the comments - I'm literally in Nomin heaven rn!!! Enjoy :)

He awakens to an empty bed, and Jeno’s heart drops into his stomach. Jaemin’s abandoned him is his first ridiculous thought but it’s a forgivable one, especially considering the events of last night.

He’s still feeling vulnerable.

Pulling himself up into a sitting position, Jeno scans the room to discover the room is empty too, but Jaemin’s stuff is still here. The sight of his open backpack and various toiletries scattered along the edge of it reassures Jeno that all is good with the world.

Wondering what time it is Jeno reaches for his phone, which Jaemin must have plugged in for him. Thank god for Jaemin because Jeno was a useless mess last night, and although he’s still feeling remnants of the anxiety, in general he’s much more stable. On his phone screen he sees various messages from the boys telling him he needs to feel better soon, and at the very bottom there’s one from Jaemin. He clicks on that first, keen to know where Jaemin is.

**_“Hey, I thought you might need some extra sleep, so I went to the chill out space to do some work. Come down when you wake up, as I want to take you for some food. The boys have gone to hike a mountain x”_ **

All of Jeno’s muscle relax. This is becoming a habit for Jaemin. Him taking care of Jeno in the sweetest and understanding way. A part of Jeno feels undeserving but also, it’s the nicest feeling to be taken care of so well, and Jeno doesn’t want to let it go for anything.

Instead of replying, he jumps in the shower. Making sure to take extra care with his hair and really enjoying it. It’s one of his top ways of taking care of himself post attack. Reminding his body it deserves care and attention. Surprisingly it works well. Then he pulls out his nicest top and some light trousers. Jaemin may not have said date in so many words, but even a dense Jeno can see that’s what it’s going to be, and he wants to show up properly.

Dressed he heads down to find Jaemin, who’s busily chatting to some of the staff. He hasn’t noticed Jeno yet, so he just observes and enjoys seeing how Jaemin connects with all those around him. How he doesn’t see staff vs guest. That these people have lives, dreams and families. It warms Jeno inside. Another part of Jaemin he wants in on. Finally though hunger wins out, and he steps out onto the patio area, which has a mix of tables and chairs, as well as futon type seating areas. Jaemin’s on a table in the corner, taking up the whole table with his work setup.

Jaemin waves him over and greets Jeno by pulling him down for a soft kiss on his cheek. Jeno blushes as per usual but ignores it and just sits down on the chair Jaemin is gesturing to.

_“Hey you,”_ Jaemin opens with, “h _ungry?”_ Jeno nods, glad Jaemin’s not pushing him to speak about last night. He doubts Jaemin would, but people always seem to want to know how’s he feeling, even when he doesn’t want to share it. _“Great, me too. I’ve just gotta save this and respond to an email. Then we can head out. Fancy anything in particular? I know a great Greek restaurant nearby, if you’re after some different?”_

Sounds rumble from Jeno’s stomach at the words Greek restaurant. He loves trying different cuisines, even in countries where the food doesn’t originate from. He’ll try to get as much Indonesia food in, but he won’t say no to food in general. Who does?

_“Yes please”_ Jeno replies, and sits back in his chair, passing the time by scrolling through Instagram and their group chat, wanting to catch up with the other’s night. There are a few group pictures on Donghyuck’s insta, but it’s in the chat where the good stuff is. There are photos of mark and Hyuck in various stages of making out. The two evidently getting drunk as the night goes on. The last picture though is the gold.

The two of them are in the corner of whatever bar they’re in. Sat down facing each other with their foreheads touching and eyes closed. It’s such a personal moment, Jeno wonders if whoever took crossed a line, but it’s reassuring to see after the tumultuous events of yesterday. At least somebody got their happy ending, Jeno ponders, but shakes off the thought because it could become more and ruin the day and that’s the last thing he wants.

_“Ok, I’m done!”_ Jaemin announces and packs his stuff up with a practiced ease of someone who’s done it a thousand times. _“I’ll just throw this into my locker, and I’ll be right back.”_

Then without a moment’s hesitation, Jeno’s watching Jaemin’s cute butt rush towards the stairs up to their dorm. He enjoys the view, and soon enough Jaemin’s bounding back towards him.  They head out, Jaemin waving goodbye to the staff and grabbing Jeno’s hand.

It never gets old.

The restaurant isn’t too far away thankfully, like a ten-minute walk, and Jeno enjoys listening to Jaemin talk about his morning of work, whilst taking in his surroundings. There are so many vegetarian and vegan restaurants in this place, Jeno realises, and every five seconds they’re asked if they want a taxi. Jeno can’t help but shake his head to it constantly, but Jaemin ignores it. Almost oblivious to it, that’s what life constantly on the road must do to you.

They’ve welcomed and directed to a table when they arrived at the roadside restaurant.

_“So what do you fancy? My treat remember”_ Jaemin asks, whilst browsing his own menu. Jeno feels shy all of a sudden and feels the need to clarify whether this is a date or not. His earlier confidence has evaporated as per usual, he’s really gotta stop doubting things.

“ _Jae, is this err a…..”_ He can’t finish his question, and instead hides his now red face behind the oversized menu.

_“….a date?”_ Jaemin helpful supplies. When Jeno looks over the top of his menu, he sees the grin which accompanies the words. “ _Yes_ ” Jeno whispers, afraid that it might not be all he hopes it is.

_“I sure hope so JenoNoJam”_ Jaemin teases.

Jeno’s shoulders drop in relief, but before he can reply Jaemin’s onto the next thing.

_“Soooooo Jenoooooo, what do you want? I’m bloody starving. Didn’t have breakfast because I didn’t know when you’d wake up and I wanted to eat with you.”_ Jeno’s mouth hangs open in shock, _“You did what? Why did you do that?”_ because he can’t quite believe how perfect Jaemin is and he can’t believe Jaemin didn’t just eat like a normal boy needs to. It’s not possible, there must be a fault somewhere in Jaemin’s personality but Jeno’s not going to look too hard for it.

_“Because I wanted to Jeno. I learnt a long time to only do what makes me happy, and you know what, spending time with you makes me seriously happy.”_

“ _Oh_ ” is all Jeno can mutter.

He’s not quite there yet himself. Even if his parents don’t seem to notice, Jeno still feels the pressure to do well in everything he does and to do it in a way they would approve of. Doyoung always been so happy to do it that way, and Jeno at some point, just figured he should fall in line.

So many things he’s given up in his lifetime, just to please his parents. Dancing, tennis and photography to name but a few. Even giving up on a relationship because his parents thought it was too distracting from his degree. To this day he feels sorry towards Yang Yang but last Jeno heard, he’d managed to meet someone new, a Xiaojun. Someone who could give him what he deserved, because Jeno couldn’t.

Jeno hopes he’s happy.

_“Okay I want tzatziki and the souvlaki”_ Jaemin broadcasts and Jeno discloses he wants the baked feta and the falafel wrap. They order and add two Bintang beers to it.  The pair talk about this and that for a while, with no real purpose except to explore each other’s worlds. Jeno talk about his cat, Bongshik and Jaemin tells him about some of his adventures on the road.

_“Your cat sounds so cute Jeno-ah. I hope I get to meet her one day.”_

And there it is. The idea that Jaemin and Jeno as a unit will continue past these four nights together. It’s a concept which scares Jeno but also excites him. Jeno’s is distracted when the food arrives and they begin to work their way through it. Each taking bites of each other’s. Jeno’s own falafel wrap keeps oozing out humous and the falafel keeps dropping onto the plate, which makes Jaemin laugh a whole lot. Jaemin looks satisfied with his own food too. It’s a good meal.

_“You and me eh?”_ Jeno asks teasingly, though half serious, in an attempt to continue the conversation but instead of teasing back Jaemin looks him dead in the eye, turning the jokey moment into something more. Jeno watched Jaemin considers him, and feels himself freezes under the scrutiny. His anxiety bubbles under the surface of his mind.

_“Are you ready to talk about that? Because I don’t want to pressure you, you know? I’m happy to just enjoy our date.”_ Jeno isn’t ready for that conversation. It’s too soon.

_“Maybe tomorrow?”_ he offers, and Jaemin nods. Jeno’s not sure how Jaemin’s figured him out so quickly, but he’s thankful all the same.

“ _Cool, let’s just get some ice cream and then I wanna show you around the Palace. Cool?”_

Jeno sparkles with happiness and with ice-cream devoured, and bill paid by Jaemin of course, the two leave again hand in hand. The Palace is awe inspiring, and most surprisingly helps Jeno refocus his perspective.

He realises the past two days have been a bit of whirlwind with his only focus being Jaemin. And it dawns on him that, it’s not that Jaemin isn’t super important to him, it’s just Jaemin’s not the whole world and if this is going to last, Jeno needs to remember who he is too.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy smokes, these two are the cutest pairing I've ever written!! :) Kudos & comments are well appreciated by this humble overly romantic nomin author!!!!

The boys decide to do the Volcano trek the following day, which means they need to get up at 2am. Chenle had sold it to them over dinner, so instead of going out, the group were staying in for the evening.

The table had a bit of different energy this time round, by the pool again, but Mark had pulled a guitar out from seemingly nowhere and the group were singing to well know tracks such as Zombie, Wonderwall and Chasing Cars. Jeno even sang along too sometimes. His voice wasn’t terrible, though he preferred to rap mostly.

After about an hour of Mark playing, and Donghyuck singing along, somehow it came up in conversation that Jeno could play a bit of guitar too. Jeno knows it was Jaemin’s doing but he can’t pin it on him, especially with no evidence. The only thing he really has confidence to play on the guitar is Love Yourself by Justin Bieber.

He grabs the guitar from where Mark is inviting him to take it and braces himself to play. It’s been a while though, and his first few chords are a bit off but soon enough, he’s playing it confidently. It gets even better when Donghyuck starts singing along too. They sound good and the two have a small performance together. There’s one moment where Jeno switches to the chorus and Donghyuck doesn’t, it’s comical, but Hyuck catches up quick and they finish to applause from the table. It’s fun.

Sometimes it’s nice to do thing which don’t centre around drinking, Jeno thinks. Jaemin offers him a smile and a thumbs up. Jeno blushes a bit. Renjun and Chenle go next, and Mark goes back to accompanying them. It’s nice to listen to and Jeno feels himself drifting off a bit. Today’s tired him out, with the temperature reaching 28 degrees today. Not what Jeno is used to yet. So when the clock hits 10.30pm, he decides he’s had enough and bids the group goodnight. If he has to wake up in under four hours, he’s gotta go now or he’ll die.

 _“I’ll join you”_ Jaemin tells him and says goodbye himself. They get a wolf whistle, and a cheeky smile from the youngest but Renjun just smiles at them.

Before they enter the room, not wanting to disturb their two new roommates, Jeno decides to bring up the sleeping situation. He doesn’t want Jaemin to feel rejected, but he really needs to sleep as much as he can and it’s only 3.5 hours. But before he can say anything Jaemin mentions it himself. _“Hey, do you mind if I sleep solo until we get up?”_

Jeno smiles with relief, _“Yeah, was gonna say the same thing.”_ Jaemin kisses him on the nose, and then his lips. It’s sweet and perfect. _“Okay, we should probably be quiet going on, especially if we’re gonna disturb them later.”_

An hour later, Jeno regrets agreeing to Jaemin’s request. Deciding it was maybe the stupidest decision of his life, in two days he’s never slept as well as he has with Jaemin by his side and now he’s alone he can’t fall asleep. He tosses and turns, and even counts sheep but it’s fucking useless.

He misses Jaemin’s warmth, but Jeno’s pretty sure by now Jaemin is fast asleep. He listens to the room, hoping to hear uneven breaths, but Jeno can’t make whose breath is who’s in the darkness. He quietly sighs and turns to face the room. His curtains are mostly open, the rest of the guys in the room haven’t pulled them either. Suddenly he hears a rustle, and then there’s a Jaemin in front of his bed. Jeno scoots back, and Jaemin slides in.

Jeno reaches out both arms and pulls Jaemin in tight, whispering, _“oh thank god”,_ nuzzling into Jaemin’s chest. It’s his favourite place in the world these days. _“Me too Jeno, me too.”_ They fall asleep within minutes of each other.

Jaemin’s alarm blasts out loud from his now empty bed at 2am sharp, and he rushes out of Jeno’s bed to silence it. He must’ve forgotten it when sneaking over to Jeno’s. The pair rustle around in the almost dark, pulling on some hiking appropriate clothes, and their stuff. They slip out, thanking god they didn’t make too much noise.

Outside the room, there’s this moment where they stare at each other, and it feels so personal and just theirs. Jeno feels the need to say something, to thank Jaemin, but Jaemin doesn’t let him say a word. Instead he leans in like the first time and steals his breath away with a kiss demonstrating all the feeling they have for one another.

A few minutes later, they’re disturbed by the sound of the next door opening, and dishelved looking Jisung and a unkept Chenle appear.

 _“Where’s Renjun?”_ Jaemin asks the clearly tired boys.

 _“Went down 10 minutes ago, wouldn’t wait for us. Said we taking too long.”_ Jeno laughs because it sounds just like the Renjun Jeno’s gotten to know and like.

They troop down after Jaemin who leads the way, and meet up with Mark, Donghyuck and Renjun who are all ready and waiting to go. The bus ride is under 2 hours, and the hike less. It’s not a particularly difficult climb either. The boys spend the time laughing at Hyuck’s dramatics and Jaemin’s antics, Renjun’s snarkiness, and the young duo run laps around them, but all of them are silent when the sun actually rises.

It’s breath-taking, and the eggs cooked on lava-heated rocks are a hell of an experience. Jeno mentally ticks it off his bucket list. Climb a volcano – tick!

He takes a moment to look out at the view. Finally feeling part of something bigger than himself. It reminds him of his revelation yesterday. Makes him ask questions to himself.

If he’d never met Jaemin, how would he be feeling now?

Would he still be considering staying on the road longer without Jaemin?

Possibly not is the truth, but it’s also true to say he’d had the thought before ever meeting him. And maybe meeting Jaemin was the thing he needed to push him over the edge. The pros were that he would get to see the world more, like he wanted. He’d get some space from his parents, and the pressures they unconsciously put on him.

Maybe he’d even get to work on why he let those pressures sit on him?

So many pros, but what were the cons?

It could all go fucking horribly wrong, Jeno considers. Jaemin could turn out to be a terrible person, or a con man, or something. Unlikely but it’s a risk. At the very least, Jeno could hate being on the road long term. He could miss his cat too much, and his friends.

But, rationally thinking about it, something Doyoung once told him comes to mind:

**You can always leave Jeno. Wherever you go, or whatever you do, remember you can always leave or go home. You are free to make your own choices.**

An ultimate safety net for Jeno, knowing he could just leave, if it didn’t work out with Jaemin.

The alternative meant not even trying, Jaemin wasn’t built to stay in one place but Jeno could go with him. He wasn’t ready to tell Jaemin his thoughts yet, but the sunrise had helped a lot to clear his thoughts out.

Jeno feels arms snake around his waist, and a chin rest on his shoulder. He turns his head and pecks the cheek now exposed to his lips. In the sun, Jaemin looks even more handsome than usual. His cheekbones highlight with the gorgeous red/orange, and his eyes sparkle in reflection to all the morning sunlight.

 _“You are so beautiful, Jaemin-ah,”_ Jeno whispers, whilst turning his head back to the sunrise and leaning back into the body behind him.

_“Back at ya, Jeno- ah”_

All the boys crash when they return to the hostel and plan to meet up again that night for one final hurrah before Renjun, Jisung and Chenle leave. Jeno’s due to go too  but he doesn’t want them to focus on that fact. It’s too much to think about it. Jeno still needs to talk to Jaemin about it all, so he lets the boys focus on the three who are leaving.

After a short nap in each other’s arms again, Jaemin has to work, and Jeno decides he wants to swim and read a bit, so the pair set up in the pool area. Jisung and Chenle join Jeno in the pool, and they are joined by Renjun after a bit, so they set up a game of water polo and spend a happy hour trying to annihilate each other with their volley’s over their imaginary net.

Jaemin laughs along, but most of the time, he has his head down focused on work tucked away in the corner. Every so often though, Jeno tries to catch his eye and manages a 50% success rate. Each time he does, they share soft smiles. When Renjun and Jeno surrender defeat to the younger boys, Jisung, Chenle and Renjun head to shower, before they hit up some local shops for gifts for people back home. Jeno settles onto a sun lounger and pulls out his beaten-up copy of The Great Gatsby. He’s read it a thousand times, but he still loves it anyway.

Day turns into early evening, and Jeno starts to fall asleep, so he lets Jaemin know he’s off for a shower. Jaemin nods and tells him he’ll follow. It isn’t long till dinner now.

Jeno lets the water stream over his body, enjoying the hot burn. The pool although fun had been cold, so it was nice to experience a hotter temperature. He hears someone come into the dorm after about 15 minutes and assumes it’s Jaemin. His assumptions are proven right, when he steps out 5 minutes later clean but only in boxers.

Jaemin whistles at his state of undress. Jeno feels shy, and blushes more when Jaemin pulls him into an embrace. Jeno tries to protest, using their roommates as reason, but Jaemin tells him to hush. The two hover in the middle of their room, in an intimate hug. Jeno feels his body relax and Jaemin takes a deep breathe in of Jeno’s freshly scented body. It should be weird, but it’s not. It makes him feel even closer to Jaemin, and Jeno will take everything he can.

Breaking the moment, Jaemin brings up the topic Jeno’s dreading, “ _We should talk tonight. You’re leaving tomorrow, right?”_ Jeno looks at Jaemin, his eyes glossing slightly, and Jaemin pulls him back in for a hug. _“It’ll be okay Jeno. Don’t worry about it. It’ll all be okay.”_

“ _Okay_ ” Jeno responds in a small voice.

Jaemin showers, and they join the rest of the boys. It’s a dinner full of jokes, and happiness. Jeno discovers Renjun’s due to fly home in two days, so that’s why the three of them are leaving. They’re heading to the coast because Renjun wants to try surfing, and the two younger boys want to watch him fall off his board.

It takes 1 hours and 20 minutes before Mark turns to Jeno with a shocked look on his face and announces his realisation.

_“Wait Jeno, you said you were staying for four nights, which means….you leave tomorrow too.”_

The rest of the boys shows a range of emotions from shock on Mark’s, to disappointment from Hyuck and lastly sadness with Jaemin. The other three don’t really react because they’re leaving too, so it doesn’t affect them as much.

 _“Ahh yeah, I head to the Gilly Isles tomorrow for three nights.”_ Jeno admits. His whole trip is planned in general, but he doesn’t have reservations beyond Gilly island sorted yet. Jeno doesn’t want to think about why he hasn’t booked yet, especially as his original idea was to book up his next few hostels.

It’s because of Jaemin. Of course, it is.

Jeno turns to look at Jaemin, and asks quietly, although the rest of the table are evidently eavesdropping. _“Do you think we can talk now, Jaemin?”_ Jeno bravely asks and Jaemin just nods yes.

They leave the table, and head out to the road, making their way towards a bar close by, where they’d arranged to meet the boys soon after.

 _“Are you okay?”_ Jaemin asks, when they sit down and order a round of drinks.

 _“I’m good, I think. I’m just curious mostly. Like what do you really think about all this?”_ Jeno gestures between the two of them. He needs to hear what Jaemin really thinks before he puts his cards on the table.

In response, Jaemin takes a first sip of the beer which arrives and seems to prepare himself mentally. Jeno feels the same.

“Okay so real talk time.”

Jeno smiles encouragingly to reassure Jaemin who still looks wary of how Jeno might react to this conversations. Jeno’s not surprised after his reaction to this topic so far.

_“Okay. I like you Jeno, and we get on in a way I haven’t felt for a long time. I’ll be honest though, the last relationship I attempted on the road didn’t end so well. So I’m afraid of history repeating itself, but right now, I can’t imagine not trying. I want to try to be together. What that looks like I’ve no idea. You’re leaving tomorrow, but are you open to changing your plans? Or am I? I don’t know.”_

Jaemin stops taking another swig of his beer. Jeno knows it’s his turn to speak.

_“I’m scared Jaemin for sure, but also excited. I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way, and actually it’s the idea of leaving you tomorrow, which makes me feel so anxious. I want more time, more time with you. But like you, I don’t know about the future. After my Gilly Island trip, I don’t know. How long are you staying here? At the moment I only have three months, and there’s so much I want to see.”_

The boy across from him takes in a deep breath whilst leaning forward to clasp both of his hands around his beer.

_“I’ll be honest Jeno, I don’t know how much on the go stuff I want to do. I like this place a lot, but I also don’t want to miss out exploring with you. It’s a bit of leap, what if you leave and realise you don’t want this.”_

Jeno pauses too. Jaemin’s right. What if they are feeling all this just because of this place and this awesome group of boys.  It could just be this moment in time which is so special. Deep down he doubts it, but somehow, they need to test this.

Jeno has an idea.

 _“Okay, what about this….what if I go to Gilly Isle and you stay here...and…and in a week’s time, if we both still want to try this…we meet in Canggu at the beach? Then if one of doesn’t turn up, we know that it wasn’t meant to be_.” Jaemin laughs a bit, but soon turns serious. “ _Okay Jeno. Let’s try that. I’ll miss you though.”_ Jeno sees a little pout reach Jaemin’s lips and just because he can’t resist, he leans over and plonks a kiss on the pout he’s come to adore.

They smile at each other and enjoy each other’s presence until the remaining five boys join them, and they have a night none of them will forget. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NO YOU'RE CRYING.....

When Jeno wakes up, his head pounds and he feels too hot. Mostly because there’s an octopus on top of him with arms flailed everywhere, and someone’s turned off the air con. He looks down at Jaemin in his arms and realises how nice it is to have Jaemin snuggled into him for once.

Then he remembers he’s leaving today, and his mood turns sour. He looks down at the sleeping Jaemin and thinks about the boys he’s come to know.

Firstly there’s Donghyuck and Mark with their full-on duo antics, bickering and being stupid in general. The pair weren’t a couple Jeno would put together initially, what with Mark’s more quiet and gentle nature compared to Hyuck’s fiery and over the top one, but for them it created a balance which worked. If they could make it together, then maybe Jaemin and Jeno could? He thought.

Jisung and Chenle on the other hand were both crazy insane messes, and Jeno wasn’t sure how they survived without Renjun reigning them in. Perhaps it was being away from their lives which made them especially wild. Jeno did admire how they seized every opportunity and made the most out of it. They laughed a lot and didn’t seem to worry too much about getting it wrong. Jeno could learn a lot from the pair, and maybe they would meet again before the boys returned to china. The thought warmed Jeno.

Renjun on the other hand was an enigma in himself. He spoke even less than Jeno did, but when he opened his mouth, fire and sass would come out. It was a sight to behold.

In comparison to the rest of the group though, Renjun was the only one who was pretty happy with him life back home. He enjoyed his job and had a budding romance at home to return to. Jeno had wished him good luck with the boy in question, and Renjun had said the same in response. Adding that Jeno should try to listen to his heart, and not his head as much, because thinking too much didn’t always make you happy. Sometimes you had to feel to truly live a life you loved.

Lastly there was Jaemin, the boy who Jeno couldn’t stop thinking about. A boy Jeno was in constant awe and admiration of. In only four days, Jeno had never felt as loved and cared for, and they barely knew each other. He’d never felt as comfortable to share the deepest parts about his soul that he kept hidden from the world. Jaemin had effortless taken care of him, but also been wickedly funny, and fun to be around. Everyone liked him, and Jeno thought that perhaps he might just love him a little, but it was too early to even consider that word. Jeno just hoped the space they were giving themselves would help him understanding what these feelings really were.

The space was good, but it didn’t mean he was happy about it.

All night, Jeno had been the one to grab Jaemin’s hand and pull the boy to him. Jaemin had laughed but always come willing. They had danced, drank, laughed and just entwined their lives completely. It had been perfect

Pulling out his phone, Jeno checks the time and feels a stone drop in his stomach, as the time indicates he has just one hour left before his bus to the coast arrives. He still has to shower and pack still. Carefully manoeuvring Jaemin Jeno climbs out of bed, the asleep boy dead to the world.

What the hell did he drink, Jeno ponders, wasn’t it the same as Jeno? Maybe not, as Jeno had definitely cut back as he’d realised, he’d have to get up earlier than him.

Showered, and in the middle of packing, Jaemin finally shows signs of life. The cute boy rolling over, curling up with his puffed-up face peeking out of the blanket.

 _“Jeno-ah…how long_?” Jaemin whispers. Of course, Jeno knows what he’s talking about. “ _40 minutes”_ he whispers back, the pair conscious not to wake their roommates. _“Come back to bed”_ Jaemin whines with his usual pout. Jeno giggles at the cuteness.

 _“5 minutes, and then I’m all yours,”_ he replies, quickly finishing up his packing. He doesn’t own a lot, so it’s pretty easy to do so. Then he dumps all his stuff by the door and climbs back into bed with the snuggest looking Jaemin.

 _“Hey you, how you feeling?”_ Jeno asks.

In response, Jaemin curls back into Jeno again. _“Like shit, but nothing compared to how sad I feel. This kinda sucks you know.”_ Jeno nods. It really does such. Why does doing the right thing suck so much?

Not knowing what to say, Jeno just pulls Jaemin in close and plants a kiss on his crown. Then he runs his fingers through Jaemin’s hair, hopefully in a soothing way. After a while, Jaemin shuffles back and allows their faces to be level with one another. It reminds Jeno of their first time cuddled up, only a few days ago, but a lifetime also.

 _“I don’t want you to go”_ , Jaemin admits and Jeno’s heart cracks a little. The urge to give in and just stay is overwhelming.

Before he can do so though, Jaemin continues, _“But I also want you to leave and come back to me because then I’ll know how much you want this too. I don’t want to doubt us. I want you to the space to think, but there’s some stuff I think you should know. You are one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met Jeno. You’re smart, and kind. You make the people around you feel calmer and happier. You’re daring and also brave because you opened up to me, even when it was hard to. I want you to know, even if you don’t decide this for you, that meeting you was one of the best things that has ever happened to me on the road. And I wouldn’t change one moment of it.”_

Jeno doesn’t know what to say in response to Jaemin’s beautiful speech. The words less elegant on his tongue, but he has to say something. He needs Jaemin to know how much he means to him too.

After a small kiss, he starts.

 _“Jaemin, so many words I want to say to you, they’re all stuck in my throat. So I’ll try my best, but it may fall far short of yours. Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for being the light of my time here.”_ He takes a deep breath _, “If our time was only meant to be this, then I’ll thank whatever god exists for it, for the rest of my life.”_

They kiss, this time Jaemin pulling Jeno into a much deeper kiss. It feels bittersweet and Jeno can sense his eyes welling up with tears before they do. He lets them out, and as soon as Jaemin realizes what’s happening, he’s there wiping them away. Pressing kisses all across Jeno’s face.

_“Don’t cry Jeno-ah. I’ll be seeing you again soon!”_

Between small sobs, Jeno adds, “In one week and 6 hours at Batu Bolong Beach, right?” It’s a a confirmation of their previously decided time and meeting point. Fearful he might have remembered it wrong.

 _“That’s the one.”_ Jaemin looks at his phone and sighs quietly, “ _T-minus 10 mins.”_ Jeno pulls himself up again, but this time heaves Jaemin up to. The latter pulls on some clothes and then grabs Jeno’s bag, while Jeno does his last checks. Making sure not to leave anything behind. The duo head downstairs so Jeno can check out, but before he can, Jeno is surprised to see all five boys are sat waiting for him to say their goodbyes. He feels overly emotionally. Unsure how to respond to such a gesture. He gets hugs from all them. They all say something to him, but it’s Mark whisper which he holds onto the most: _“I’m cheering for you Jeno! Good luck and follow your heart.”_

Jeno smiles and looks around the group.

 _“Thanks for everything guys. I’ll be seeing you then?”_ the boys disperse, probably back to bed, leaving Jaemin behind. Jeno’s grateful.

He returns his key and confirms his bus will arrive soon. Jeno and Jaemin grab a table in the common area whilst they wait. They don’t say anything, just holding hands and looking at each other. There’s isn’t much to say at this point, and then Jeno’s taxi is announced. They help him with his bags.

Jeno turns to Jaemin and pulls him for one last hug.

 _“See you soon Jaemin, “_ he says, turning to leave, afraid one more second looking at Jaemin’s distraught face will make him crumble.

As Jeno leaves the hostel, he hears a feint and very sad, “ _Goodbye Jeno-ah.”_

His heart calls for the boy he’s leaving behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go!!! woooo! Thanks for reading and commenting.


	10. Chapter 10

The first day without Jaemin, and the others, goes by incredibly slowly.

Jeno’s not sure what’s he’s feeling, but he knows he’s sad. He tries not to fight it too much though, knowing he needs to feel his emotions, otherwise he won’t really know what’s going on. Sometimes he thinks too much, and his feelings get hidden beneath the waterfall of thought spirals. So he sits with his emotions instead, welcoming them home like old friends and thanks for helping him to be everything he is. His first day is mostly spent by the water, a welcome relief after the basic non-stop-ness of his time with the boys.

In the following days, Jeno flits between reading, swimming in the ocean, trying scuba diving, a bit of site seeing, eating food and chatting with some of the people in his hostel. It’s not the same as before, but the group is more mixed now, meaning there are a few girls in the group. It’s casual and Jeno feels a bit on the outside, he doesn’t quite click with them. It makes him almost thankful though, because he’s not sure how he could handle saying goodbye to more people he likes.

Instead Jeno welcomes the space in his brain and his heart.

Their group chat has been active between the seven of them, but he and Jaemin haven’t directly spoken, having decided they should take some space from talking as well. It’s been painful, making the separation even worse.

Then as the sun sets on the sixth day, Jeno finds himself thinking more earnestly about Jaemin.

In retrospect, four days isn’t really isn’t anything in the grand scheme of things but at the same time Jeno feels like’s his whole view on the world has shifted. Meeting Jaemin has changed so much for him.

Before his world felt cosy and small and Jeno was happy with his daily life with Bongshik. Living and working in the same place has become so comfortable for Jeno. Even dinners with his family and friends have become the same. Though these feelings were definitely what made him want to come on this trip in the first place, but it was only supposed to be temporary.

It was supposed to fix the piece he felt was missing from his life.

The feeling he only truly got from being on the road. Maybe he found the answer he’d been looking for in a cute, wild and caring boy called Jaemin Na.

But was it crazy to even consider changing his whole life on a whim that a relationship with a boy he just met would work out? If it didn’t, would Jeno want to travel alone indefinitely? He’s not sure, probably not but did that mean he shouldn’t try at all?

The thoughts swirl around Jeno’s head, giving him a small headache.

The thing he know he’s not admitting is how afraid he is. Afraid of what his parents will say. Afraid he’ll hate being on the road, and people will judge him for being so reckless. Afraid it won’t work out with his job.

Afraid Jaemin will realise Jeno isn’t anything all that special.

Those few days of happiness are not enough to undo years of Jeno putting himself down. Of always feeling unworthy and substandard. But maybe forty days or four hundred could change that. He imagines what life would be like on the road. What it might be like with Jaemin by his side.

Exciting, open, free and ultimately, he would safe as long as he had Jaemin by his side.

Jeno has one day left before he has to meet Jaemin on that beach and he doesn’t know what he’s going to do.

*

 

Jaemin sits at the beach café with a beer in hand. He ordered it to try and calm his nerves. Right now, Jaemin thinks he need ten of them.

He doesn’t think he’s ever been this nervous in his whole life, and he’s had to face his mother when he’d needed to tell her he was dropping out of college. Now that was nerve wracking, but not as nail bitingly awful as this.

Waiting for Jeno makes Jaemin feel sick to his stomach, because he doesn’t know what he’s going to do, if the other boy doesn’t turn. This past week has been fucking awful. Concentrating on work has been a nightmare too. All he’s been able to think is about seeing Jeno again. Having Jeno close to him again.

Kissing his soft lips again, and again.

Jaemin knows Jeno’s got more to consider than he does. He’s not the one whose thinking about completely changing his whole life, well not this time. In fact, he knows how incredible scary it can be to think about doing such a thing. So many thoughts, and fears about what will go wrong. About how practical life moving about constantly actually is.

And Jeno’s got to think about how a new relationship will play into that. Something Jaemin didn’t have to do.

But Jaemin knows what he needs.

And he needs Jeno.

From the first day he met him, and he cheekily slipped into that pool. Jaemin knew two things. That one he was incredibly attracted to the handsome stranger who’d made his way into their friendship group with an ease he’d not seen in years, but also underneath all the quietness lay an adventurer at heart to match Jaemin’s own. The two of them had matching souls, and the following days spent with Jeno had just confirmed it more for Jaemin.

Even’s Jeno’s anxiety attack hadn’t changed his mind.

To have anxiety and still travel proved to Jaemin how amazing Jeno was. Jaemin was so honoured that Jeno would let him in, and to share his story so openly. Jaemin hadn’t wanted to say it to Jeno’s face, afraid he’d scare him off, but he was pretty sure he was in love with the brown hair handsome boy, whose stolen his breath away.

Jeno might have felt like Jaemin changed his life, but Jeno made Jaemin’s life worth living.

Jaemin look’s at his phone and reads the time. 5:04pm. Jeno’s 4 minutes late so far, but Jaemin’s trying not to think about it too much. Bali time is similar to Thai time, it’s easier just to go with it than fight it.

His phone’s blowing up with messages from the other’s in their group chat without Jeno titled, ‘ **Team Nomin’**. Donghyuck’s making of course.

Mark and Donghyuck had been with him for two more days, before they moved on to Java. Leaving Jaemin alone for one more day, before deciding fuck it, if he had to wait, he’d rather be by the ocean. Meaning Jaemin’s been in Canggu for four days, and he’s now anxious as fuck. The owner of the bar must think he’s a bit mental too, as he’s been here every night just watching the ocean. Thinking about Jeno. An hour passes by, and Jaemin starts to freak out. He messages Renjun, hoping for a level-headed response, but none comes. The other must be busy back home.

Jaemin feels alone for the first time in a while, and it scares him. He’s ready to share his life with someone, but now if it’s not Jeno, he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s going to do. More minutes tick by, and Jaemin resists the urge to text Jeno. He doesn’t want to come across as pathetic. If Jeno doesn’t want him, he doesn’t want him. He won’t beg, but he still has hope.

The hope dies and his heart breaks into two when his phone screen turns to 8:00pm.

Jeno’s not coming. He doesn’t want Jaemin, and it hurts so bad. He doesn’t know what to do. He’s long since stopped replying to the messages. His last in the group chat being, **‘Nomin is no more.’**

Jaemin downs the last of his beer and settles up. He can’t wait forever for Jeno, as much as his heart wants him to, his brain kicks into action. Mentally starting to put his walls back up. He should’ve known better.

Don’t let anyone in too far. It only hurts when they leave you.

A lesson he knows all too well, but this time it aches deep inside too. Jaemin heads out towards the ocean. The waves have always calmed him, because no matter what country he travels to or the places he visits, the ocean is always there. Connecting the whole world together.

With each step away from the future he wanted so badly, tears drop from his eyes. He’d told himself he wasn’t going to cry but it’s just so devastating, he can’t stop. He makes it roughly twenty paces from the restaurant when he hears something like his name being screamed from across the other side of the busy road.

It’s feint, but the voice sounds so familiar.

Jaemin turns, and his mouth drops open in shock. There inbetweenst traffic whizzing past is a frantic looking Jeno, whose waving and shouting loudly. He stops as soon as he sees Jaemin’s noticed him, and then turns his attention back to the road. It takes a few minutes before Jeno can cross safely, but Jaemin is frozen unable to move anyway. Jeno runs towards him, and Jaemin can see he’s upset too the closer he gets.

 _“Jaemin”,_ Jeno’s soft voice sounds even sweeter now than before and brings Jaemin back to life.

He’s still shocked but he manages a quiet _, “Jeno, you came”._

Jeno beams brightly at him with a smile and pulls Jaemin into his arms. A confident Jeno is incredibly attractive, Jaemin thinks briefly, before their lips crash together and he’s amidst the most passionate kiss of his life. The beach fades away and all he can think is Jeno, Jeno, Jeno.

They break apart, but Jaemin still can’t believe it.

_“You’re here. You came. I…I..”_

He can’t finish before he sobs, and Jeno’s face falls. _“I’m so sorry Jaemin. I didn’t mean to make you wait.”_ Jeno pulls Jaemin into a hug, and he feels so safe in Jeno’s arms.

 _“What happened?”_ Jaemin needs to know. Why did Jeno wait so long? Did he doubt them? Doubt Jaemin? The last Jaemin wants is a confused, and half committed Jeno.

Jeno’s face goes adorably red, as it’s prone to when he’s embarrassed and Jaemin has an inkling about what’s about to happen. _“Err well the thing is”_ Jeno scratches his neck, a nervous tick Jaemin’s noticed. _“I missed my boat and had to wait 3 hours for the next one, and then my phone battery ran out. And basically my day went to shit, and I had to run the last bit because my taxi got stuck in traffic. And fuck it, Jaemin I’m in love with you.”_

Shit.

 _“You love me?”_ Jaemin doesn’t know how to respond to Jeno’s out of the blue confession. More neck scratching, _“Yeah I do, and I’m kinda hoping you feel the same, especially considering you waited three hours for me to turn up.”_ Jeno smirks and then grins at a slightly offended looking Jaemin.

 _“Yeah well, I was thirsty, and….”_ Jaemin tries to put up a pathetic argument. Trying to deflect from the elephant between them. Jeno loves Jaemin, but does that mean he wants to come on the road? Or something else?

 _“Jaemin I just told you I love you and that’s all you can say.”_ Jeno scoffs at him, _“And also if you’ll have me, I’d be honoured to travel with you. I don’t know how it’ll work out just yet, but I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t try. Those four days with you changed my whole world. I don’t think I’ve ever felt as accepted and cared for in my entire life. You saw me for me, and only me. I love you.”_

Jaemin doesn’t want to cry again. He’s not usually a crier, but it’s overwhelming.

 _“Jeno, I love you too and thank fuck for that, because this could’ve been way more awkward if you didn’t wanna travel with me,”_ Jaemin gets out between small sobs, but he tries to keep some semblance of cool. He doesn’t.

They’re in each other’s arms now. Jeno’s arms around his neck and Jaemin’s are snug around Jeno’s waist. Foreheads touching once again, and Jaemin just loses himself in Jeno’s eyes. _“Thank you for coming back to me”,_ Jaemin says in earnest. He really doesn’t know what he would have done.  

 _“Thank you for waiting for me. It means the world,”_ Jeno responds, and they kiss lightly with knowledge this is just the start of them.

Just the start of their life on the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over.....I'm crying.....are you? Silly Jeno ehhh....
> 
> Do you wanna read an epilogue? Comment and let me know if you do. 
> 
> Have a great weekend x

**Author's Note:**

> Kinda already another chapter - hoping to wrap this up in about 8 chapters but we'll see !! Let me know what you think :)


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